Opinions

Fri
23
Jun

Handyman Jacks

by Baxter Black 

People develop a morbid relationship with the most unlikely things. “Git rid of that horse, Newt! It’s bound to kill ya someday!” But Newt keeps saddlin’ up the widow maker.

“Don’t be eatin’ those chilis, Newt! Ya know they’ll keep you up all night!” But Newt eats ‘em and spends the night on the john.

“Dadgummit, Newt! I know that was yer Daddy’s pocket knife, but enough’s enough!” But Newt’s still cuttin’ calves with a half-inch blade.

 

To read more please log in or subscribe to the digital edition http://www.etypeservices.com/Martin%20County%20MessengerID317/

Fri
23
Jun

MAYOR DEFENDS GALVESTON ON EVE OF CRACKDOWN

by Bartee Haile

Testifying in front of a legislative committee on Jun. 25, 1951, the mayor of Texas’ “sin city” defended his much-maligned constituents with the curious logic, “The people of Galveston ought to be commended for not being hypocrites!”

The island was wide-open decades before Sam and Rose Maceo appeared on the scene just before World War I. Barbers by trade, the ambitious brothers soon discovered there was a killing to be made in bootlegging.

During the Great Depression, the Maceos branched out into big-time gambling and ruthlessly eliminated the competition. None of the slayings was ever traced back to the genial gangsters with one notable exception.

 

To read more please log in or subscribe to the digital edition http://www.etypeservices.com/Martin%20County%20MessengerID317/

Fri
02
Jun

DIRECTOR MADE HIS OWN DREAM COME TRUE

by Bartee Haile

Twenty-eight year old King Vidor released his fourteenth motion picture on Jun. 3, 1923. Talent, hard work and a little luck turned the star-struck Texan into one of Hollywood’s finest film makers.

The Galveston native, who survived the 1900 hurricane as a boy of six, was mesmerized by the newfangled medium called “the movies.” Landing a part-time job at a local theater, he spent countless hours watching the screen spring to life with thrilling tales of faraway places.

To read more please log in or subscribe to the digital edition http://www.etypeservices.com/Martin%20County%20MessengerID317/

Fri
02
Jun

The Grapevine

By Baxter Black

What better way to impress his new lady friend, thought Rob, than to take her to his friend’s rancho for an afternoon branding and BBQ? His ’84 model two horse trailer had been repaired so many times that it looked like a well drillin’ rig! The ‘98 pickup was using 2 quarts of oil to a tank of gas and his horse was...well, ol’ Yella looked right at home.

To read more please log in or subscribe to the digital edition http://www.etypeservices.com/Martin%20County%20MessengerID317/

Fri
26
May

BOOZE GETS THE BETTER OF DIXIE DEAD-EYE

By Bartee Haile

Dallas Stoudenmire resigned under pressure as city marshal of El Paso on May 27, 1882 and promised to get help for his drinking problem. After his recovery from four near-fatal Civil War wounds, the Alabaman emigrated to Texas and gave farming a half-hearted try. Deciding sod-busting was not for him, he rode with the Rangers for several months before moving onto the Panhandle. But wherever he went, gunplay was not far behind.

To read more please log in or subscribe to the digital edition http://www.etypeservices.com/Martin%20County%20MessengerID317/

Fri
26
May

Just Say No!

By Baxter Black

JUST SAY NO!
- my brother says it works every time!
- I know Pinto took her out, but she’s not that kind of girl!
- your wife will just love a new drill press!
- it’s the cow deal of a lifetime but I need a cosigner!
- it’s not cleared for scours and I can’t officially recommend it but...
- this will make you rich!
- the Japanese eat it this way all the time!
- the Indians ate it just like this right after they killed the buffalo!

To read more please log in or subscribe to the digital edition http://www.etypeservices.com/Martin%20County%20MessengerID317/

Fri
19
May

OL’ DUFFY

by Baxter Black

Ol’ Duff slept in the bunkhouse in the corner by the wall

Nobody slept beside him. It was self-defense, that’s all

‘Cause Ol’ Duff was a chorus of expulsions in his sleep

That sounded like a freight train goin’ through a band of sheep!

His sinuses would vibrate ‘til the quilt slid off his bed.

To read more please log in or subscribe to the digital edition http://www.etypeservices.com/Martin%20County%20MessengerID317/

Fri
19
May

WARRIOR PRIEST SAVES TEXAS FOR SPANISH CROWN

by Bartee Haile

Spanish authorities banished Father Juan Manuel Zambrano from provincial Texas on May 22, 1814, but the combative priest stood his ground and forced his earthly adversaries to rescind the order.

Gov. Manuel de Salcedo succeeded in sending Zambrano into exile in 1807. After three long years of isolation in the Mexican interior, the penitent priest was permitted to return to his native San Antonio over the strong objections of the governor.

To read more please log in or subscribe to the digital edition http://www.etypeservices.com/Martin%20County%20MessengerID317/

Fri
12
May

PUBLISHER URGES TEXANS NEVER TO SURRENDER

By Bartee Haile

In the May 9, 1865 edition of his newspaper the Houston Telegram, publisher Edward Hopkins Cushing encouraged his readers to keep on fighting and never to knuckle under to the Yankees.

Throughout Lone Star history, the most zealous residents have often been those who were Texan by choice rather than birth. A prime example was Vermont-born and Dartmouth-educated Cushing, who became a naturalized citizen of Texas in 1850 at the age of 21.

To read more please log in or subscribe to the digital edition http://www.etypeservices.com/Martin%20County%20MessengerID317/

Fri
12
May

Cow Population

By Baxter Black

(The following excerpts are from the Oklahoma Livestock Committee meeting on Species Relations. Voting members include beef cows, feedlot steers and dairy cows.)

“Will the secretary please read the state demographer’s report?”

“Yes, Madam Cowperson. For the first time in the history of the state, the human population will surpass the number of livestock.”

To read more please log in or subscribe to the digital edition http://www.etypeservices.com/Martin%20County%20MessengerID317/

Pages

Subscribe to RSS - Opinions